It’s Time to Stop Wondering if you Married the Wrong Guy
It’s Time to Stop Wondering if you Married the Wrong Guy
That your husband would be the safe place where you could unwind or fall apart without being judged or left out in the cold?
Hey, Bee. I see you.
You’re married to a pretty great guy. You’ve got a good life going.
You’re rocking it out in many ways: carpool, your work from home gig, play dates and service projects.
You slay your day most of the time.
You can’t believe the way he talks to your kids.
You’re really not okay with how he’s always gone.
You’re done with his temper flaring.
You’re afraid that his choices will limit yours… again.
But nothing changes.
You still love him.
I mean… overall you do.
But you wonder if this is where you’re supposed to be.
Or if there’s something you’re missing about how marriage works.
(Little hint – there is. Keep reading to find out what.)
So, you double down. Do nice things. See things from his side. Give in to keep the peace.
Still, you’re feeling anything but peaceful when you lie down at night.
You wonder and worry and smooth things over.
Day after day.
I spent the first 8 years of my marriage bargaining with myself about how long I’d stay.
Looking to the next major milestone or big family event because, surely things would be better by then.
More of the same. Year after year.
I know we can do better for you.
Here’s what’s true: all of the wishing and hoping and crying and praying you’ve been doing hasn’t worked so far.
I promise you; your efforts aren’t the problem.
But your approach might be.
I know you’ve heard that a working marriage is just that – work.
But what kind of work? Has anyone ever told you? Does anyone really know?
Let me explain something: Most wives try to improve their marriage by looking for ways to bend and adapt and accommodate their husbands.
And sure, most marriages include some of that.
Also true is that those mental acrobatics and emotional gymnastics
are WAY LESS NECESSARY than you think.
Lean in close.
It’s been my experience – in my life and my coaching practice – that the most successful marriages actually grow from doing the opposite.
Yup. Marriages improve when wives take their turns and say their peace.
Really. It’s true.
All you have to do is:
Strangely, this can actually be pretty difficult – especially when you’ve been doing a lot of talking and convincing and silencing for so long.
I’m here to guide you to the other side.
We won’t dive into the love languages or practice using “I” statements.
Those things have their place.
That place is right on top of purposefully programmed thinking based in integrity, self-compassion and love for the both of you.
There are six parts to the Course:
These six modules come as a comprehensive marriage makeover that’s available to complete from the comfort and privacy of your own computer. On your schedule.
You’ll have full access to all the tools and tricks I’ve learned through 20+ years of working with wives – just like you – in 24 manageable lessons that outline exactly what to do next – right now, today.
It’s everything you need to know to thrive in your marriage or to feel solid about moving on. Get ready, you’re about to discover what it’s like to bask in the love you were always meant to have – today and always.
BIG TIME BONUS: You get to stay in the Defying Gravity course community
enjoy all future resources… forever.
PRICE FOR LIFETIME ACCESS: $397
I started out as a hesitant girlfriend who couldn’t make a decision. Then, nine years later, I married my guy and brought all of that hesitancy right along with me. I struggled hard as a new wife and mother – more often than not feeling like I’d given up my identity as a person when I said, “I do”.
Husband and I saw at least five different therapists – some together, some me on my own. We spoke with our clergy, our parents, our friends… and we were still miserable.
‘Til coaching did.
I know, from working with over 5000 clients and being a client myself, that there is one crucial difference between the wife who’s loving her marriage and the one who really, really isn’t.
It’s how she talks to herself about her marriage and her role in it.
If that role is one she’d also assign a beloved daughter or sister, she’s probably good to go. If not, there’s trouble ahead. Guaranteed.
If you want a marriage that lasts, you must give yourself space to be a human inside it. Even if husband doesn’t get it and mom has other plans. It’s about so much more than the vows you made on your wedding day. Because you love husband, but you also love you. Even as a wife, you want to make room for your wants, wishes and whims.
Good news is, you can do that – even with a ring on your finger.
A marriage that Defies Gravity comes from trust and love. It’s a sacred partnership with you first – then him. Cuz’ he complements your amazing. Plus, he’s pretty cute. Amirite?
A marriage that Defies Gravity safeguards trust, compassion and openness. It changes hearts and widens perspectives. It’s magical and sacred. Challenging and charming.
And most importantly, a marriage that Defies Gravity is a fun place to be.
If you’re just starting out, this is what will keep you connected with your husband as you two build your amazing life together. If you’ve been together awhile, this will be the exact tune up that makes the difference between contemplating divorce in stony silence and figuring out how to display all the photos of cherished memories made.
Defying Gravity: The Course will be the end of wondering whether you married the wrong guy, forever.
Sure. But it’s not required. It only takes one person to make a change in a relationship and who better than you?
Therapy is a terrific resource. Keep going if it’s working. Taking this course is a great complement to the work you are already doing. You could even let your therapist in on what you are learning and how it’s changing your marriage in radical ways. So fun!
You probably will and that’s not a problem at all. You’ll be able to submit your questions directly to me and I’ll answer them on a LIVE call once a month. Once you enroll in the course, you’ll have LIFETIME access to attend those calls and ask all of your questions from now til forever.
Good news! I run Defying Gravity groups several times a year. You, me and 10 other Bees working through all of this together. You’ll be coached by me on LIVE calls and via Slack as much or as little as you’d like to be – and bonus! – if you join a group within 60 days of purchasing this course, your course fee will be applied to tuition for the group. Who’s in?
Start with the Week 1 curriculum.
Spend 10-15 minutes watching just one video.
Spend 10 more minutes doing just one worksheet exercise.
That little peek into your brain could, all on its own, change your entire outlook on your marriage.
Best news – you’ll then have the chance to rinse and repeat 23 more times with weekly nuggets of truth and a healthy dose of love straight from me to you.
All of the video curriculum and custom-crafted worksheets have the power to shift your experience of your marriage, to reawaken the feelings that made you choose him in the first place, or to open up to yourself in a way that allows you to take up all the space you deserve in your relationship.
There’s so much available to you, Bee.
Now you’ve got a choice – you gonna take it?
I understand that everyone else’s sports equipment, school fees and work travel schedule tend to come before what you want for yourself.
You’re good at making the best of things.
You know how to make things work.
No one is doubting your skill in keeping the ship running smoothly – even when you have next to no resources helping you along the way.
You can keep doing all that. Forever.
The question is: Do you want to?
Or would you prefer to breathe some life and space back into your day to day?
You can keep buying self-help books you don’t read – $15 a pop.
You can continue tossing tickets in the trash when your fights get in the way of plans you’d already made – ranging from hundreds to thousands of $ down the drain.
You can buy more fast food, chocolate, shoes or home décor to try to fill the chasm between you and your husband – do we even dare calculate that total?!?
You can let more special events, holidays and milestones slip by in stony silence and quiet desperation – you’re never getting any of that back, my friend.
You can say yes to yourself and the marriage you deserve – right now.
You can show your kids what a healthy marriage looks like.
You can give yourself the gift of lifelong companionship and years full of happy memories.
What are you waiting for?
There’s freedom and love to gain with nothing to lose but heartbreak and loneliness.