Episode 75 – Holy Ground in Hard Love

In case you haven’t heard, Holy Ground in Hard Love is my signature marriage mentorship where women come together to leverage their unique version of The Divine to heal all kind of relationships here on Earth. 

The next wave of enrollment in Holy Ground in Hard Love will open up at the conclusion of my brand new workshop, “How to NOT be alone.” 

In that workshop, we’ll set you up to enjoy delightful companionship always – regardless of who else is around. 

You do your best to be a “good wife”. 

You like your husband most of the time. 

And… in the months and years since your wedding day… unexpected experiences have taught you that “for better or worse” is NO. JOKE and it’s sometimes a little bit shocking to find out what “for better or worse” really means.

You’re not really thinking of leaving, but you’d rather not have things stay the way they are right now – forever

Here are two things that most people don’t understand about marriage: one, how you interpret the pauses and squabbles matters SO MUCH MORE than their frequency and two, sometimes telling the absolute truth… even if it hurts a little… is the VERY best thing you can do to save your relationship. 

I know that second one might make you raise an eyebrow, but stay with me. 

In order to create a comfortable, connected marriage, you deserve a support system within yourself as well as in the communities you belong to. 

“How to NOT be Alone” is happening on Dec 9 @ 12noon MT and during that hour together, we’ll identify three places where your full honesty will be taken seriously and met with love – because safety to tell the truth about the challenges of marriage makes them so much easier to navigate. 

Then – if you decide to upgrade into the “NOT ALONE TOGETHER” experience, we’ll spend seven days (from Dec 8 through Dec 15) massaging the energy of your marital connection and resetting the air between you so that you’ll have the cleanest slate possible as you start building your dreams for end of 2026 and into the New Year. 

And that’s not all – anyone who upgrades into “NOT ALONE TOGETHER” will also claim three group coaching calls in the New Year to help make sure what you learned in “How to Not be Alone” really sticks in a tangible way that changes your marriage for the better. 

Enrollment is open as of TODAY and is currently available at a MUST-GRAB-IT-NOW discount for Black Friday weekend. 

Grab the “How to NOT be Alone” workshop itself or bundle the workshop and upgraded “Not Alone Together” experience – both are 77% off for Black Friday weekend. 

Why 77% – because the number 7 represents spiritual completion and perfection which is what I want for YOU – all day. Every day. 

So let’s give you a double 7 discount today, tomorrow and Sunday. 

$6.67 for the workshop alone – tell that to your middle schooler and watch them giggle 

or

$11.27 for the workshop and expansion experience together

Enroll right now at https://candicetoonecoaching.thrivecart.com/not-alone/ and do it today, because starting on Monday (12/1), you can still enroll – it’ll just be at the regular price.

So if you want to gain the skill of never being alone when you don’t want to be, get on it by Sunday night at the latest to enjoy the most savings AND gain the strong skill of purposeful connection to keep for the rest of your life. 

Enrollment at the regular price point will stay open until 12/7 before I close it all down. 

Go to https://candicetoonecoaching.thrivecart.com/not-alone/ to claim your seat. Again that’s https://candicetoonecoaching.thrivecart.com/not-alone/ – the link is also in the show notes for this episode, so open those up and click there if that feels easier to do.

I’ll be watching for YOUR registration to come through, but in the meantime… let’s get on with today’s episode: Holy Ground in Hard Love

Are you religious? Spiritual? 

I’m both.

And neither. 

In many ways, I’m still figuring The Divine out… but what I do know is that since I’ve started including my version of The Divine in my approach to my marriage, I’ve been able to see things more clearly, disagreements have smoothed over more quickly and I’ve been able to stay more focused on what I really, really want. 

There are still challenges – I don’t think that’ll ever change. 

But what has changed is my perspective on those challenges and my capacity FOR them. 

And that’s why I morphed my beloved group coaching program – Defying Gravity Rising into a brand new mentorship – Holy Ground in Hard Love. 

Because love IS hard – but it’s easier to manage when your walk with your version of The Divine on Holy Ground. 

There are SO many unique versions of The Divine in Holy Ground in Hard Love because each member is invited to bring her own spin on what feels like The Divine TO HER. 

We’ve got God. 

Source. 

Angels. 

Our future selves. 

The Universe. 

Grandmothers who have passed on. 

Energy itself. 

Spirit Animals. 

Tafiti, the goddess at the end of Moana 

Zeek from Parenthood 

The pulsing sense of LOVE itself. 

It’s all welcome here because we KNOW… like REALLY know… that welcoming The Divine into our Earthly relationships helps them runs much more smoothly. 

I take my role as the leader of this sacred community VERY seriously. 

It’s an honor to open space between The Divine and The Earth in an intentional way. 

And I’m here to give you a look behind the curtain at what the Bees in Holy Ground in Hard 

Love have been up to since we started our work together back in June. 

As I’m sure you know, there’s a TON of marriage advice out there in the world.

A lot of it is really good. Most of it will work just fine.

All of it works better with a supportive community cheering you on, all along the way.

The MOST important part of that supportive community is YOU.

You are the voice you hear in your head most often. You are in charge of what other voices are let into your life and you decide the tones and implications you’re willing to hear.

That can be hard work.

Especially because it’s work that most of us aren’t used to doing.

Probably because we sometimes don’t realize we’re allowed to do that kind of work.

The kind of work that holds some things (and people) out while letting other things (and people) in.  

We’re used to being told how important it is to be soft and kind and understanding and supportive.

I would guess that you’re already pretty practiced with all of that.

And you’re maybe not so much practiced with turning that softness and kindness and understanding back toward yourself.

You probably do it sometimes – I hope often. And it’s probably true that there’s room for more consistency when you’re trying to be kind and loving to you.

No problem.

I’m an expert at supporting women who are hurting in their marriages and I can help you learn how to support yourself too.

I’m also an expert in helping you cultivate a truly personalized connection to your unique version of The Divine. 

We start that process with two fundamental questions. 

What does my version of The Divine want FROM me? 

And 

What does my version of The Divine want FOR me? 

My initial answers to those questions were pretty much the same thing. 

They sounded similar to the socialization that most women receive their whole lives. 

Be kind. Sacrifice. Lend a hand. Bite your tongue. 

That advice certainly has merit. There are VERY GOOD things that come from applying those guidelines… until… those guidelines become overused. 

Which is why it’s SO CRUCIAL to answer the second question – what does The Divine want FOR me? And not only to answer that question, but to follow the grammar rules of the preposition being used. 

I know, I KNOW – I am a bit of a grammar nerd… but it’s part of my charm, so just hang with me. 

FROM and FOR are directional words – all prepositions are. 

Prepositions highlight the relationship between two things. 

In this case – The Divine and You. 

What does The Divine want from you? is asking what things you provide that The Divine receives. 

I answer that question with things like faith, trust, obedience, kindness, sacrifice and honesty. 

What does The Divine want FOR me? is asking what things The Divine provides that you receive. 

NOW I answer that questions with things like safety, protection, peace and love.

But it took me awhile to get there. Because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. 

Remember I said that my initial answers to those questions were pretty much the same thing. 

The Divine wants my faith, my trust, my obedience, my sacrifice, my kindness, my honesty. 

AND

The Divine wants FOR me to be faithful, to trust, to be obedient, to sacrifice, to be kind and to be honest. 

Notice how both of those answers are in motion flowing from me back to The Divine. 

Because I was accidentally living in a one-sided relationship, I didn’t see or make room for myself to receive things from The Divine that didn’t require anything of me at all. 

Things I could lean into when I was feeling weak, afraid or tired. 

Like safety, protection, peace and love. 

It was SUCH a relief when I realized that my relationship with The Divine was always designed to be a two-way street. 

It was never supposed to be a donation bin where I gave of my energy and time and emotions til it hurt and then made the most of the nearly nothing I had left. 

So now I’ve expanded my missed to include supporting women in deepening their relationships with their divine – whatever that looks like. 

I invite you now to consider supporting yourself enough to put yourself in other collaborative rooms where you are WILLING to let yourself be cared for. To receive. 

That’s what Holy Ground in Hard Love is all about.

Through a continuously flowing stream of Hard Love skills and the application of those skills in day-day real life, you’ll have 24/7 access to ideas you didn’t know you were allowed to believe.

You’ll watch other Bees do things you thought were impossible.

You’ll start thinking mind blowing thoughts and then you’ll notice you’re leaning into your Divine to draw strength in doing the impossible too.

Like my Bee who started out our work together by telling me she’d just have to get used to traveling on her own because her grumpy husband sure wasn’t going to get on board.

Her birthday is in December and to celebrate, she and her husband are taking a trip to New York to see a musical she wants to see during what is arguably the busiest time of the year.

Not only are they going together… they PLANNED it together too and had a BLAST doing it.

They are also headed to Bora Bora to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary – something she truly believed was impossible because of his demanding schedule. 

Impossible done. Check. Check. And Check. 

You know a lot about marriage. Even more about your specific marriage.

Of that I’m sure.

You also know a lot about what you don’t know:

like, how to have a real conversation about retirement planning without getting in a fight

or how to get him to show interest in your latest project without feeling like you’re a burden or deciding (again) that he’s actually just selfish

maybe you just don’t know how to rekindle the flame that you think might be going out

or you don’t really know if The Divine is still out there at all 

You know what you know.

You know what you don’t know.

It’s easy to assume that’s everything, but you know what… it actually isn’t.

Because while you know what you know and you know what you don’t know… there’s something else you don’t know.

You don’t know what you DON’T KNOW. 

For example, I didn’t know that you could buy gravy in a jar. Until I was like 27.

I was in my own apartment, trying to follow a new recipe and I freaked out a little when I saw that it called for a jar of gravy.

I was sure I must have missed reading all of the steps because from my limited perspective… the only way to get gravy was to cook some meat and then scrape the sides of the cookware before mixing the drippings with cornstarch to make the gravy from scratch.

I genuinely didn’t know that buying gravy in a jar was an option.

I actually waited SEVERAL days before venturing out to the grocery store because I felt stupid going to look for something I was certain I wouldn’t find. 

When I did break down and head to the store, I wandered the store for quite a while before I finally worked up the courage to ask an employee where to find it.

I was prepared for him to laugh in my face for wanting to buy the impossible.

But he didn’t. Just pointed to the correct aisle and blew my mind.

Just like that. He knew something I didn’t and as soon as he told me what he knew, my whole life got easier.

And I saved the jar to give to my mom – because I also learned that she’d spoiled me with homemade gravy all those 27 years.

Who knew?

My traveling birthday Bee genuinely didn’t know that she had more options than staying home forever or resigning herself to traveling alone. 

She knew she loved traveling. She “knew” he didn’t. That was all she could see.  

You know what opened her eyes and expanded her possibilities?

Her work in Holy Ground in Hard Love. 

Her willingness to consider that she might have more options than she currently saw. 

Her openness and attention to other Bees’ stories of possibility.

Her commitment to finding – and fighting for – her own possibility.

Her deepened relationship with HER unique version of The Divine. 

It wasn’t easy – the unfamiliar rarely is.

But it also wasn’t as impossible as she thought.

She found and claimed possibility.

Happy December Birthday to her!

And not just for this year, but for all the years left to come.

That’s the magic of being in a room filled with Bees who are committed to healing their marriages while claiming amazing opportunities for connection and fun.

Opportunities that seemed impossible before.

That’s the blessing of inviting the divine to preside over all of it – in whatever form makes sense to you. 

Doing this work with other women who are doing the same is like walking through a grocery store filled with thoughts and perspectives – each one an individual bottle of delicious, life-changing gravy – that probably wouldn’t have crossed your mind AT ALL if you stayed parked in rooms you already knew inside and out.

Without access to the type of thinking that’s just casually tossed around in rooms where women believe in their possibilities, there’s no way I’d have the dream job I have today.

No way I’d feel the same level of exciting possibility when I look down the decades to come with my husband.

No way I’d feel this much peace about the direction my Divine is pointing me to. 

It is the most invigorating, reassuring thing on the planet to be surrounded by other Bees going through the same kinds of things you’re going through.

There’s nothing like being immersed in their purposeful, useful thinking and offering your own perspective back to them as you go.

Nothing so sacred as basking in deeply divine connection to a sacred force that loves you madly. 

It’s a gift for you to let yourself gather with other purposeful women to trade ideas about how to resource and support yourself in creating better conversations and deeper connections than you ever thought possible with your forever guy.

And if it turns out that he’s NOT gonna be your forever guy, there’s nothing like Holy Ground in Hard Love to help you find that surety sooner and act on it more sensitively and effectively so that everyone involved will be better off for your honesty and courage.

Why am I telling you this today?

Because on December 9, I’m hosting a brand new workshop experience “How to NOT be alone” where we’ll focus on three unique gateways that’ll safeguard you from feeling alone if you don’t want to be. 

To join us, visit https://candicetoonecoaching.thrivecart.com/not-alone/ and grab your seat. 

Why now? 

1 – the best way to have a happy New Year is to give yourself a rockin December

2 – I want every willing woman on the planet to have the skills for creating connection on demand – whether she joins us Holy Ground in Hard Love or not

3 – I love this work. It’s fun and it’s my birthday and I’ll party if I want to. Hope you’ll join in.

My recommendation is this – join me for “How to NOT be alone” and do it today because it’s Black Friday weekend and enrollment is 77% off the regular investment. 

Why 77%? 

Because 7 represents spiritual completion and perfection which is what I want for YOU and that’s why I picked to extend you with a 77% off deal all weekend long. 

You’re welcome. 

That means… Today, Tomorrow and Sunday you can snag the “How to be Alone” workshop for $6.67 (6-7) or deepen your experience to go all in on “Not Alone Together” for $11.27. 

If you decide to upgrade into the “NOT ALONE TOGETHER” experience, we’ll spend seven days (from Dec 8 through Dec 15) tweaking the energy of your marital connection and resetting the air between you so that you’ll have the cleanest slate possible as you start building your dreams for end of 2025 and into the New Year. 

Enroll right now at https://candicetoonecoaching.thrivecart.com/not-alone/ and do it today – before you get pulled into another family card game or decide it’s time to do the dishes. 

Starting on Monday (12/1), you can still enroll – it’ll just be at the regular price. 

So go. Click. 

I’m looking forward to getting to know you better – See. You. Soon.