Watched Wonder Woman over the weekend. Just me and the kiddos cuz hubs and I were taking a bit of cool off time after a nasty fight.
I don’t love comic book movies.
So I ironed while the kids watched the show.
And I allowed my brain to judge him for his part in the squabble. To raise myself up on a pillar of martyrdom for all that I was doing to hold down the home front while he had the day off.
He wins. I lose.
Then, as I starched his shirt and spun around in victim land, I heard Wonder Woman say, “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what I believe.”
🤔
How many times had I thought he didn’t deserve an apology? Didn’t deserve my forgiveness? Didn’t deserve all of the many, many things I contribute to our household? Our marriage? Our kids?
I sat on Wonder Woman’s perspective for a day or two.
Hard-earned self-righteousness isn’t easily discarded, you see.
Here’s what I came up with.
What if none of us ever really “deserve” anything?
I’m sure if we looked we could find reasons that we aren’t worthy of whatever’s being offered. We make mistakes. We’re shortsighted. We’re humans.
And what if Wonder Woman is right? What if I never based anything I do on whether the receiver “deserves” it and but based my actions on what I believe about who I want to be?
I want to be a wife who loves. Who forgives. Who understands.
I believe in a marriage where there’s room to screw up and still be accepted.
I’m by no means implying that anyone should endure mistreatment of any kind. Hear me there.
I’m only suggesting that maybe the spats and irritations and disappointments don’t have to dictate how I treat my spouse.
Maybe I just expect that he doesn’t deserve how awesome I am, but I give him my awesome as often as I can because that’s what I believe in. That’s who I want to be.
And honestly, I’m not perfect. When I’m not, it’d be wonderful to live in a marriage where he gives me more than I deserve.
What if that were our marriage default?
And what if I went first?
Photo by Gabriela Braga on Unsplash
