Episode 10 – The Defying Gravity Revolution

​​‘s Up, Bees?!

I just bought the most beautiful necklace.

I so wish you could see it. But… this is audio, so I’ll simply describe it to you instead.

It’s a super delicate, sterling silver chain with the initials D. G. R. going down the side of the necklace – not the bottom – so classy and understated.

Words I also like to apply to myself.

Classy.

Understanded.

You can decide if you agree – and don’t tell me if you don’t.

Just kidding – you are all, of course, welcome to have your opinions about me… whether I give you permission to or not.

But I digress.

What… does D. G. R…. stand for?

If you’ve been listening closely for the last 9 episodes, you’ll probably have a guess.

It’s not my husband’s initials. It doesn’t represent the names of my three kids.

It’s my OTHER baby.

The Defying Gravity Revolution.

My beautiful new necklace represents that community I’ve built where women who are hurting in their marriages can come to heal.

As I’m sure you know, there’s a TON of marriage advice out there in the world.

A lot of it is really good. Most of it will work just fine.

All of it works better with a supportive community cheering you on, all along the way.

The MOST important part of that supportive community is YOU.

You are the voice you hear in your head most often. You are in charge of what other voices are let into your life and you decide the tones and implications you’re willing to hear.

That can be hard work.

Especially because it’s work that most of us aren’t used to doing.

Probably because we sometimes don’t realize we’re allowed to do that kind of work.

The kind of work that holds some things (and people out) while letting other things (and people in).

We’re used to being told how important it is to be soft and kind and understanding and supportive.

I would guess that you’re already pretty practiced with all of that.

And you’re maybe not so much practiced with turning that softness and kindness and understanding back toward yourself.

You probably do it sometimes – I hope often. And it’s probably true that there’s room for more consistency when you’re trying to be kind and loving to you.

No problem.

I’m an expert at supporting women who are hurting in their marriages and I can help you learn how to support yourself too.

NOT just BY yourself. That’s not so fun.

You can do it, but of course you’d rather support yourself with your people looking on and helping out.

Me too.

And I can help you support yourself enough to put yourself in other supportive rooms where you are WILLING to let yourself be cared for.

That’s what D. G. R. – the Defying Gravity Revolution is all about.

Inside the Revolution, you’ll have 24/7 access to ideas you didn’t know you were allowed to believe.

You’ll watch other Bees do things you thought were impossible.

You’ll start thinking mind blowing thoughts and then you’ll notice you’re doing the impossible too.

Like my Bee who started out our work together by telling me she’d just have to get used to traveling on her own because her grumpy husband sure wasn’t going to get on board.

Her birthday is in December and to celebrate, she and her husband are taking a trip to New York to see a musical she wants to see during what is arguably the busiest time of the year.

Not only are they going together… they PLANNED it together too and had a BLAST doing it.

Impossible done. Check. Check.

You know a lot about marriage. Even more about your specific marriage.

Of that I’m sure.

You also know a lot about what you don’t know:

like, how to have an real conversation about retirement planning without getting in a fight

or how to get him to show interest in your latest project without feeling like you’re a burden or that deciding (again) that he’s selfish

or maybe you just don’t know how to rekindle the flame that you think might be going out.

You know what you know.
You know what you don’t know.

It’s easy to assume that’s everything, but you know what… it actually isn’t.

Because while you know what you know and you know what you don’t know… there’s something else you don’t know.

You don’t know what you DON’T KNOW.

For example, I didn’t know that you could buy gravy in a jar. Until I was like 27.

I was in my own apartment, trying to follow a new recipe and I freaked out a little when I saw that it called for a jar of gravy.

I was sure I must have missed reading all of the steps where you cook some meat and scrape the cookware to mix with the dripping and cornstarch to make the gravy.

I genuinely didn’t know that buying it was an option.

I wandered the store for quite a while before I finally worked up the courage to ask an employee where to find it.

I was prepared for him to laugh in my face for wanting to buy the impossible.

But he didn’t. Just pointed to the correct aisle and blew my mind.

Just like that. He knew something I didn’t and as soon as he told me what he knew, my whole life got easier.

And I saved the jar to give to my mom – because I also learned that she’d spoiled me with homemade gravy all those 27 years.

Who knew?

My traveling birthday Bee genuinely didn’t know that she had more options than staying home forever or resigning herself to traveling alone. She knew she loved traveling. She “knew” he didn’t. That was all she could see.

You know what opened her eyes and expanded her possibilities?

Her work in the Defying Gravity Revolution.

Her willingness to consider that she might have more options.

Her attention to other Bees’ stories of possibility.

Her commitment to finding – and fighting for – her own possibility.

It wasn’t easy – the unfamiliar rarely is. But it also wasn’t as impossible as she thought.

She found and claimed possibility.

Happy Birthday to her!

And not just for this year, but for all the years left to come.

That’s the magic of being in a room filled with Bees who are committed to healing their marriages while claiming amazing opportunities for connection and fun.

Opportunities that seemed impossible before.

Doing this work with other women who are doing the same is like walking through a grocery store filled with thoughts and perspectives (and bottles of gravy) that probably wouldn’t have crossed your mind AT ALL if you stayed parked in rooms you already knew inside and out.

Without access to the type of thinking that’s just casually tossed around in rooms where women believe in their possibilities, there’s no way I’d have the dream job I have today.

No way I’d feel the same level of exciting possibility when I look down the decades to come with my husband.

It is the most invigorating, reassuring thing on the planet to be surrounded by other Bees going through the same kinds of things you’re going through.

There’s nothing like being immersed in their purposeful, useful thinking and offering your own perspective back to them as you as you go.

It’s a gift to trade ideas about how to resource and support yourself in creating better conversations and connections than you ever thought possible with your forever guy.

And if it turns out that he’s NOT gonna be your forever guy, there’s nothing like the Defying Gravity Revolution to help you find that surety sooner and act on it sensitively and effectively so that everyone involved will be better off for your honesty and courage.

Why am I telling you this today?

Because the D. G. R doors have been closed since June and we’re about to open up again.

If you want to get in on the fun, mark your calendar for December 5-8.

I’m hosting four book club conversations that week – one each day.

We’ll discuss your impressions from my book Wife on Purpose, I’ll answer questions about the content and coach anyone who wants me to coach them – all for free.

Why?

So many reasons:

1 – the best way to have a happy New Year is to give yourself a rockin December

2 – I want every willing woman on the planet to have the skills for creating the exact marriage she wants – whether she joins the Defying Gravity Revolution or not

3 – I love this work. It’s fun and it’s my birthday and I’ll party if I want to. Hope you’ll join in.

At the end of book club, the doors to the Defying Gravity Revolution will open up again.

You’ll want to walk through them so next year will be the very best year of your married life. So you can create the connection you wanted in time to really celebrate your next anniversary.

Challenges will still cross your threshold – to be sure.

But you’ll be so much more equipped to handle them all AND you’ll have an army of Bees backing you all along the way. From now until forever.

Here’s a glimpse into what you can expect in the Defying Gravity Revolution on the daily.

Every month, me (or one of my Queen Bees) will walk you through the tools and perks of the program. You can ask ANY question you want to make sure you’re getting exactly what you came for.

There will be four coaching calls – hosted by me – every month. You can make an appointment to be coached or you can just show up and raise your hand. Either way works amazingly well + we love being flexible around here.

Each month brings new curriculum. I’ll share a specific tool. I’ll challenge you to try it out and you’ll let us know how it lands.

On the Third Thursday of the month, there’ll be an anonymous Q&A call where you can write anything in and I’ll answer. Really. Truly. Anything at all.

And if you want to be anonymous at other times – my VA, Brittanie or I can show you how to make sure that happens on the calls or in our Slack community.

Once a month I bring in a body-based healing specialist to help you reconnect your body and your brain because the stronger that connection, the more effective you’re gonna be.

So… if you’ve been dying to try out try out tapping, sound baths, breath work, energy clearing and the like… the Defying Gravity Revolution is the place for you.

You’ll get seven healers for the price of one – forever.

My favorite thing about the body based healing is listening to the recording afterward – often over and over to practice connecting with myself on my time and my schedule in the privacy of my space – however I choose.

That’s right – there’s a private podcast where you can listen to all call replays on your schedule – while you do dishes, workout, drive carpool. Or maybe you’ll tune in late at night or early in the morning quiet when you have more time to focus.

And if listening or watching isn’t so much your thing, you’ve got Slack – a written community where you can ask questions and get coaching in a written format.

You can also read coaching offered to others and apply it to your situation because we’re all in this together. Always.

You’ll have SO many options for making the Defying Gravity Revolution match your needs and schedule – plus, I welcome your feedback and suggestions because this Hive is OUR hive… not just mine.

Even better, once you’ve been active in the Defying Gravity Revolution for a while – you can apply to become a Queen Bee – ANYONE can do it at no extra financial investment, the investment of your sweat equity, of your applying what you learn, earns you extra coaching access and other fun perks that you’ll keep as long as you keep doing the work.

And of course you’ll keep doing the work because when you get a taste for creating the impossible… you won’t be able to stop yourself from creating even more.

Which is exactly what you deserve.

Now… I want you to know that I’m going to keep giving out all my best stuff right here on this free podcast forever. I’ve got you no matter what. For as long as you hang with me.

AND if you are feeling that pull to dive in and actively do the work WITH us… the Defying Gravity Revolution doors will open in early December.

Do yourself the favor of joining us for the book club – come live OR listen to the replays.

Find out all the information so you can make an educated decision. The more you know about anything, the more aligned with you decisions you make about everything.

Which is, again, what you deserve.

You can get a free ecopy of our book club book – Wife on Purpose – at candicetoone.com/resources.

If you prefer paperback, head over to Amazon and place your order.

Again, I’m telling you now so that you can start reading TODAY.

It’s a quick read of 116 pages that you can definitely knock out by December 5th – and… even if you don’t quite finish, join us anyway for this free opportunity to get to know more about what it’s like to be a full-fledged Bee.

Can’t wait to hang out with you LIVE in December.

And, before we go for today, let’s get to know one of our listeners a little bit better. Shout out to Christina for listening AND leaving a review. I appreciate you.

Best coach ever!
I have worked with Candice for over a year and seen many coaches. SHE IS THE BEST COACH in the whole world. I actually hardly ever get coaching on my marriage and I am not LDS— which means she can help you no matter what. Through working with her, I have created so much compassion for me and I now know how to offer more to those around me. If you like the podcast, you will love her coaching program defying gravity revolution. Join us!!!

Thanks Christina. Glad that you’re enjoying the listen and flying with us Bees. Keep on telling all your married friends about the fun we have together so we can all keep healing our marriages together.

As for the rest of you Bees – if you’d love a shout out on the podcast and a chance to win a $250 Amazon gift card in time for the holiday season… you know what to do.

Go write a podcast review and help me help other women who are hurting in their marriages.

And if the $250 gift card doesn’t entice you to spread the word, you can thank our friend Christina for letting me know that she thinks people might actually want to be eligible for a free coaching session with me instead.

If you agree with Christina and a free coaching session strikes your fancy, I’m in.

Get busy writing your review before November 30. We’ll draw a name that day.

The winning Bee can then choose a gift card or a complimentary coaching session.

Amazing things to come either way. Can’t wait.

Choose courage, Bee and keep on flying!