Episode 2 – Hi, I’m Candice

‘s Up, Bees?!

It’s Candice Toone, former marriage and family therapist turned master certified life coach.

I’m often told that my voice is soothing. Calming. My Bees have been asking for a podcast for quite a while. They say they enjoy having me in their ear and on their side as they face the challenges being married inevitably brings.

If you find my voice soothing as well, I’d love for you to keep listening.

We are doing important, marriage-changing work around here. Work that matters to me because I’m on a mission to create more stable homes.

More homes where husbands and wives collaborate together – even when it’s tough to do so.

More homes with room for everyone’s perspective – even when family members disagree.

More homes big enough to hold pain and spread love – even when that seems impossible.

How does all that happen?

Let’s go back in time to get your answer.

Now’s the time to imagine those wavy lines that indicate time travel on a TV screen.

You see them. Awesome. Thanks for playing along with me.

Have you seen “Bee Movie”? Circa 2007?

I only caught the opening scene – on a TV mounted in the ceiling while my then six-year-old got his teeth cleaned – but let me tell you, it was money.

Here’s the recap:

“According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.”

What might be different in your marriage if you didn’t care about what humans think is impossible?
If you knew that your husband’s mood doesn’t have to dictate your day?
If you believed your worth was non-negotiable – even when he implies otherwise?
If you understood that it’s possible to love him unconditionally while completely disagreeing with his behavior?
It’s my life’s work to help women claim the freedom that comes with those kinds of beliefs. The shift from fettered to free is actually easier than you think – because YOU are 100% in charge of making the change.
Let me be clear that you don’t HAVE to do anything. You are 100% worthy and whole and awesome as you are in this very moment – even if your marriage isn’t as happy as you’d like it to be. Even if you don’t want to do any work to change that.
I get it if you’re tired. I understand what it’s like to believe that you’re already doing all of the work and nothing is changing anyway.
I can also teach you how to do the work that matters. The work that will make the difference. The work that’ll help you find a whole lot more of the connection you’ve been craving.
I can show you how to hold yourself through grief over unmet expectations and offer you hope that what you want is still within your reach.
I consider it a huge honor that all of the Bees in the Defying Gravity Revolution have invited me into their hearts and homes to help their healing along.
I’ve always been a healer.
I was a peer counselor in the youth group of my church.
A resident advisor all through college.
I hold a bachelors degree in Developmental Psychology and a Master’s Degree in Counseling with School Counseling emphasis.
I’ve worked in multiple alternative high schools and various residential treatment centers where kids were kicked out of regular schools or removed from their homes to go live with strangers and work on farms in the middle of nowhere Utah.
Those were some of my happiest times.
I love creating new relationships and helping old ones heal.
While I was supporting those teens in those centers, I was also studying Marriage and Family Therapy. I took on clients in private practice and guided couples who were struggling to sort it all out.
Again, happy times. I’m so grateful to be doing such meaningful work.
When people learn that I was a therapist before I became a coach, they often ask me why I made the switch.

There are a lot of reasons, but the main one is that therapy tends to follow a disease model and I didn’t like the idea that all of my clients were sick.

Didn’t fit for me. Or for the people I worked with.

They weren’t sick. They were hurting. Confused, maybe. But not sick.

I love that coaching teaches us that – more often than not – our brains are working exactly as they are designed to and if we are hurting or unhappy it’s probably because of some programming we’ve internalized that likely served us well at one time but isn’t serving us anymore.

So… we question the programming, adjust the input and change the outcome.

Such an empowering process for the coach and client alike.

Results are often faster too – which is so very fun.

All that said, I’ll admit I was skeptical at first.

When my first coach told me that my husband wasn’t in charge of my feelings, I rolled my eyes and turned her podcast right off.

She didn’t know me. Or him. What could she possibly know about us?

I get it if you want to turn me off at times too.

The concepts I teach can take a bit of getting used to.

Just know that if you do decide to turn me off, I’ll be here waiting to continue the conversation whenever you decide you want to.

I know there’s nothing wrong with you or with your husband.

I believe you are both doing your best.

I also know that sometimes your best is a bit misguided or maybe outdated.

His too.

Mine as well.

Good news is, it’s a simple fix and I’m ready to help if you’ll let me.

I am a Master Certified Life Coach.

I’m also certified in Deep Dive coaching, Faith-Based coaching, Feminist coaching and I host a trauma-informed coaching community where coaches come together to heal our own trauma so we can better help our clients heal theirs.

I’m a firm believer in the importance of connecting the body to the brain. I know it’s important to use all of the information sources we are given – in concert – to gather the most complete data set to make the best decisions.

Because of that, I choose to actively partner with body-based healers who have expertise beyond my own. I invite them into the Defying Gravity Hive to help my Bees connect with themselves in the deepest way – because a deep connection to yourself guarantees your ability to choose the very best route for you. Always.

And I’m here for THAT.

All day. Every day.

The Bees in the Defying Gravity Revolution are on a mission to stop wasting energy wondering if they married the wrong guy so they can start enjoying the marriage they imagined when they said “I do.”

Because that’s what we all deserve.

Enjoyable marriages.

Connected relationships.

Stable homes.

You with me?

I’m glad.

Choose courage, Bee. And let’s fly!