You don’t have to believe everything you think. Most people laugh when I say that because they think I’m making a joke, but I’m not.
I couldn’t be more serious when I say that considering how you don’t have to believe everything you think is the VERY BEST GIFT you could give yourself this holiday season.
Listen in to this week’s episode for some examples of how NOT believing what you automatically think can be the thing that makes the most difference in getting you a marriage you love to live in.
Mentioned in this Episode
- Kara Lowentheil
- Fair warning: She’s got a bit of a potty mouth.
- Brooke Castillo
Bonus Resources
- Click here to claim a free 4 lesson mini-course: How to enJOY the marriage you imagined when you said “I do”
- Check out Defying Gravity Rising – a Candice-led community of Bees committed to stop wondering if they married the wrong guy so they can enjoy the marriage they imagined when they said “I do.”
- Grab your free e-copy of “Wife on Purpose” and the companion workbook HERE
- Follow Candice on Instagram and Facebook
Episode Transcript
‘s Up, Bees?!
Once I was at a party and this gal was rattling off all these challenges and issues and all the things. She ended her story with wide-eyed surprise because what she thought was going to happen actually didn’t happen.
I laughed along with her and said something like, “It’s wild how you don’t have to believe everything you think, isn’t it.”
She gave me a strange look and kept on laughing.
Because she thought I was making a joke.
But I wasn’t.
It really is true that you don’t have to believe everything you think.
And sometimes NOT believing everything you think is a miraculous gift that’ll change your life.
Like – for realz.
Last week, I mentioned that my daughter made me a ring holder with my favorite phrase on it for my birthday.
I first heard the phrase when I was finishing my coach certification in the fall of 2018.
My mentor, Brooke Castillo, wrote us new coaches a letter and read it aloud to us in our final class.
She encouraged us to be “willing outliers” (my favorite phrase).
I encourage you now to do the same.
Do you know what an outlier is?
It’s a statistics term used to describe something outside the norm.
A willing outlier is someone who WANTS to be outside the norm. Like on purpose.
Most people believe that fighting with your teenager is “normal”.
Maybe.
But maybe not.
A willing outlier might decide to believe instead that they can figure out how to stay close and connected with their teen during those transitional years.
Many people believe it’s normal for a couple’s sex life to dwindle as years go by.
Could be true.
But might not be.
A willing outlier might choose to believe that their sex life gets better with age.
Point is – you don’t have to believe everything you think.
Sometimes it’s a really bad idea to believe everything you think.
Because brains get things wrong.
Like… a lot.
To illustrate what I mean with REAL examples, I’ve pulled the rest of this episode DIRECTLY from the Swarm Sisters vault of resources.
It’s a class I hosted for my real clients back in the fall of 2022.
You’ll learn how your brain can be like a racoon and also get some tips on how to curate what you’re believing so that your reality reflects the life and marriage you really, really want.
AAAANNNND GOOOOO!
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class – no transcript available
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And there’s the truth.
Brains – mine AND yours – can be trash pandas sometimes.
Especially when they feel threatened, brains are like little racoons smashing garbage together and calling it a cheeseburger.
It’s cute how your brain tries to protect you. To warn you about things.
And… your brain is wrong sometimes.
Which is the BEST news – especially when your brain is telling you something that you’d prefer not to be true.
Maybe he DOES love you.
Maybe that thing IS possible.
Maybe the fringe in the hallway ISN’T a murderer.
If you loved what you heard, make sure you’re on my email list so that you’ll be among the first to know every important detail about the “pay what you want” series I’m launching next year.
In 2025, I want everyone to have access to marriage-changing support if they want it – regardless of their current bank account situation – especially after the holidays.
So starting in January, I’m launching a “pay what you want” series of preview support sessions that closely mirror what we do in my signature group coaching program – Swarm Sisters.
In those preview sessions, you’ll get to experience exactly what it’s like to work with me and our amazing community of women.
No pressure, no awkward sales pitch, just real support, real guidance in our real community.
If you want more details, make sure you’re signed up to receive emails from me.
Head over to www.candicetoone.com and grab my free course – look for the gold button in the upper right corner.
Not only will you be signed up to hear all the details about the Swarm Sisters preview sessions I’ll be hosting next year, but you’ll also get instant access to my mini course: “How to have the marriage you imagined when you said, “I do”.
Can’t wait to hang out with you LIVE in 2025 and get to know you and your marriage a little bit better.
Thanks for being here in this conversation with me today – I look forward to chatting again next Sunday.
Until then, choose courage, Bee and keep on flying!
