Dax Shepard, husband to the adorable Kristen Bell, once said that, “A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to get bangs every other month.”
While I’m guessing he was kidding, it’s interesting to consider how many rules you have for how your husband should take care of you.
Mine is supposed to listen to my stories.
And recognize when I need a nap.
And tell me I’m beautiful.
And never, under any circumstances, use up the last of our ice cubes. Those tiny squares of refreshing are M.I.N.E.
But guess what?
He doesn’t always do those things.
And even when he does… he doesn’t always get it right.
Case in point, once I casually mentioned to him how I don’t understand magnetic eyelashes. How they seem like a pain and a hazard and I don’t really get the appeal.
Then Easter came.
And right there, on the top of my Easter basket was… you guessed it… a set of magnetic eyelashes.
I must have looked confused as I examined the white and silver packaging because he got sort of alarmed and blurted, “You were talking about those… right?”
I smiled, hugged him and said, “Right, sweetheart.”
Then, with some considerable finagling, I snapped them on for a photo and an internal chuckle.
I did tell him the truth later and ribbed him a bit for his half-hearted listening skills.
And I realized, again, something key.
It’s not his job to take care of me.
I can say “yes” or “no” to eyelashes.
I can coordinate my own nap.
I can take care of me all day, every day.
Who better than me?
I know exactly how it should be done, after all.
And you know what I did last night?
I didn’t even ask him.
I knew the risk I was taking and I had bobby pins at the ready should things have gone awry.
It may sound unromantic to take care of your own needs. But what if it wasn’t?
What if showing up to your marriage – completely cared for -allowed you more room to just have fun with each other? To love on each other? To enjoy each other’s company – pressure free?
Sounds romantic to me.