“You don’t measure vulnerability by the amount of disclosure.
You measure it by the amount of courage to show up and be seen when you
can’t control the outcome.” – Brene Brown
Are you showing up to be seen in your marriage?
I don’t always.
But it’s better when I do.
Because it’s easier for my husband and I to connect with each other when I’m actually there – as myself – ALL of me.
I’ll bet that’s true for your marriage too.
I’m pretty sure on this hunch because this week, two of the Bees in my Defying Gravity group tried out being vulnerable and actually asked directly for what they needed.
It was magic.
Check it out:
Bee #1: “This morning I asked for what I wanted, even tho I had thoughts of he’s going to think I’m dumb or weird or it isn’t going to work, etc. And guess what? IT WORKED and I felt AMAZING! It felt so clear that I’ve been walking on this path in my life, just seeing what is in front of me and believing this is only what’s available to me. And after asking for what I wanted even tho it was uncomfortable, it was like I saw how many millions of possibilities are waiting for me – I just need to reach out and grab one.”
Bee #2: “This afternoon I needed to pick up balloons and the dog from the groomer after we had all been working to clean the house together. Normally, I would have done both and been irritated that my husband doesn’t help, etc. But I felt the resentment and anger coming up as I was telling him the two errands I needed to run, so I decided to ask him to pick up the dog. And, he said “ok” and did it. There was no drama, I asked for what I wanted and it was so much easier. It felt so good.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Both Bees had spent months – maybe years – believing that something terrible would happen if they asked for support. They thought if they were vulnerable, their husband might turn them down or brush them away. Not surprisingly, their marriages had felt strained.
Such fun news to discover that showing up and asking on purpose brought these couples closer together and gave these ladies hope.
Kinda makes you want to ask your hubs about that thing that’s been bugging you, right?
Just do it.
I’ll be right here cheering you on.