What are you ABSOLUTELY sure of in your marriage?
That he loves you?
That he doesn’t?
That he’ll have your back no matter what?
That he’ll only be there for you if the game’s not on?
Because your brain likes to be efficient, it will – if you aren’t paying attention – dump your husband into a bucket of your belief and leave him there forever.
Husband is reliable or he isn’t.
Husband is kind or not.
Your brain is SURE of it and you – as a busy woman with a full life – tend to go along with whatever your brain says.
I do it too.
We’re just wired that way.
Sometimes that’s awesome – especially if your bucket of beliefs about your marriage spills out love and trust.
If your bucket is more stench-y and gross – “he’s not there for me” and “he doesn’t know how to work hard”, for example – going along with your brain’s automatic beliefs may not be the best way to go.
So, what if uncertainty is actually amazing here?
What if believing that you don’t know what your husband is going to do next or that you actually don’t know how he’s going respond – even before you ask – gives your marriage space and breath for the joy you’ve been wanting to grow?
What if you were willing to be surprised by husband’s response?
I’m telling you, if you’re able to imagine a fear-free, doubtless marriage – even as a distant possibility – you’re that much close to making that possibility a reality.
Your brain wants to be right and it will find a way.
Why not nudge it to be right about something that you’d actually LIKE to be true?
Could be fun.