The Story of Deciding (not Deferring)

Ever notice yourself wishing your husband understood what’s going on in your life? 

That he remembered things that are important to you?

That he would listen to you just for listening’s sake?

Of course you have. 

Me too. 

Life is more effortless when he sees you – when he gets you.

No argument here.

And… he’s a human… so he probably doesn’t do those things all the time. 

Maybe he doesn’t do them all that often.

I hear you if you want to be sad about that. 

I’ll never try to talk you out of those feelings. 

I’ve got them too. 

And… if you want to be less sad than you are, I’ve got you.

Here’s what you do: two simple steps – Stop deferring. Start deciding.

Decide that you are going to make an effort to understand what’s going on in your life instead of waiting for him to notice.

Decide that you’ll remember the things that are important to you and remind him of what’s up instead of waiting for him to mention it.

Decide that you are in charge of listening to you. Ask for his ear if that’s what you really want.

I know you might be thinking that asking for what he “should just know” kills the romance.

I guess… if you want to look at it that way.

I also know that even if he offered to listen to you, his effort wouldn’t land – unless you believe your thoughts are important enough to be heard.

I know that even if he remembers your milestones, it won’t mean much if you don’t think you deserve the attention.

None of his kind words or acts of service will count if you aren’t listening to and serving yourself first. 

I know this because I’ve seen myself downplaying his efforts or brushing them aside because the attention felt uncomfortable to me. 

I wanted to believe that I mattered. 

That focusing on me was okay. 

But I wasn’t sure. 

Hadn’t practiced thinking of myself that way all that much.

So let’s practice together. 

Decide that you matter. 

Your big stuff. 

Your small stuff. 

It’s all important. 

Set that example. 

Pay attention to you. 

He’ll follow along – pretty sure. ⠀

Are you ready to have the marriage you imagined when you said “I do”?

Click below to get the FREE course: How to have the marriage you imagined when you said “I do”. You’re worth it and you’re welcome.

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?