The Story of Family Style Dinner


I hate family style dinners. Hate them.

For completely irrational reasons I get a little crazy thinking that I’m going to starve at a family style table. It’s a little more tolerable with my actual family, but the buzz of anxiety never really dissipates until the dishes are passed around and everyone has some food on her plate.

It’s nuts.

I realize this. But my primitive brain does not.

Because her job is to keep me alive, she warns me throughout family style dinners that there may not be enough.

There always is.

Have you ever had a similar anxiety flare when you think there’s not enough time? Not enough money? Not enough attention from friends?

Me too. It’s all scarcity. And this year I’m training my mind in abundance. I actively look for ways that I have exactly what I need to remind my brain that there’s enough to go around. When my brain thinks that resources are scarce, I’m experimenting with believing that I can figure out how to get the most important things for myself and my family. Cuz we do have what we need.

We are alive.

We have shelter, food and water.

We know how to connect with God and with each other.

And we figure the rest out.

Worrying about “not enough” distracts me from how much I truly have. When I’m focused on the food coming round the family style table, I miss out on talking to my neighbor while we wait. If I’m worried over the time my husband spends staying late at the office, I’ll probably waste some of the time he does have at home complaining or criticizing or fighting with him. When I do that, the connection I wanted suffers. Huh.

So I’m looking for ways that I have enough. In all things and all places. That’s more fun for me and worrying doesn’t make me more of whatever I think I’m missing. Something to consider, yes?

Photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?