When you’re with your guy, is it more like Disneyland? Or the DMV?
Totally get it if your answer is “depends” and “both”.
Now let’s get clear: are you mostly feeling the magic of a twilight fireworks show or are you more often slogging through the drudgery of filling out yet another government form that is WAY longer that the little ledge available for you to write on?
Good news: you can adjust that ratio. Even if it’s been months since you last had sex or “Hey Babe, we’re out of milk” is the most romantic thing he’s said in recent memory.
All you gotta do is check for thought absolutes: “We never spend time together.” or “He always assumes that I’ll take care of everything.”
When your brain is caught up in beliefs like those, it makes perfect sense if you’re tempted to give up all hope.
Even if you don’t actually leave the house or the relationship, you find yourself escaping to your social media feed, your ice cream bowl or your kids bustling schedule – which means less time and attention on the “us” you signed up for.
I get it.
“Busy” is easier than “disappointed.” You’re just doing your best to “make things work”.
Better than that is available. Even if it seems unlikely.
Test my theory this week. Start by noticing the absolutes in how you typically think about your marriage.
Actively look for how the opposite is true. Just for fun, make it your job to prove the other side.
At worst, you’ll get a clearer idea about the facts of the issue which will – if you let it – spark creative solutions.
At best, you’ll open yourself up to more happiness and connection.
Nothing to lose. Magic to regain.
Can’t wait to see what you create for yourself.