The Story of Getting what you DON’T want

We’re in the thick of the holiday season. 

How you holding up? 

You ready for all those gifts – and the possible disappointment that’ll come when you don’t get what you thought you might?

Been there.

Not the most fun. 

I’m sorry if that’s the case for you. 

I also want to share a little insight about what might be going on. 

As famous philosopher, Vince Vaughn, once said: “Fight for your limitations and you’ll get to keep them.”

(I know he didn’t say it first, but that’s where I first heard it – In the movie, The Internship. I take my wisdom wherever I can get it. No apologies.)

The point is: we do this all the time. 

My clients tell me that their husband REALLY IS selfish and then set to work proving it with scads of “evidence”.

Other clients tell me that they TRULY DON’T have enough money or time. 

During the pandemic, some Bees pointed out that we ACTUALLY WERE on lockdown. 

Some of us still are. 

And some of those that are, maintain the view that our options are OBVIOUSLY limited.

I’m not judging. 

I do this too. 

My M.O. is to tell anyone who will listen that my painful beliefs are “factually accurate” and that it’s “wise” to believe them. 

But it isn’t. 

Not ever.

Because when I’m believing a painful thought, I have to be in pain.

Pain never drives my best action, so I end up recycling a relationship I really don’t want to be in. 

No. Upside.

So as you examine your brain, remember – we’re not trying to find the ultimate “truth”. 

We are in pursuit of thoughts that SERVE us.

Maybe your husband IS selfish. But focusing on that only leaves you feeling disempowered and stuck. 

Maybe you DON’T have as much money as you’d like. But focusing there just kills your creativity and leaves you disappointed.

So remind yourself of your power as often as you can. 

Choose thoughts like: I’m resourceful. I’m creative. I will take care of me no matter what. 

Focus on believing that you have exactly what you need. That there is love in the world. That you are whole and deserving of every happiness.

Then watch all of that come true – right before your eyes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Your painful thoughts might be “true”. 

But thinking them over and over just gets you more of the same. 

More of what you DON’T want. 

Why not try out a new version of the story. 

See if you get a better ending. 

Could be amazing. 

Will probably be hard. 

And also… worth it.  ⠀

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?

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