Long before we were married, my now husband and I agreed to certain divisions of labor in our future household: All things inside, I would do. Everything outside the house? His domain.
I’d rather scrub a million toilets than pull one weed.
So we set it.
And sometimes I forget it.
Like when I allow myself to feel unappreciated for doing a mountain of laundry or unnoticed when I rotate the groceries in the pantry and restock the fridge.
I keep up with all of the doctors and dentists and teachers (ahem, one million online learning platform logins). Hubs hasn’t got a clue about any of that.
Sometimes I use that as a reason to get mad at him. To believe that he just doesn’t get how much I do around here.
He probably doesn’t.
Also the truth?
I have no clue what he does outside. That stuff never even crosses my mind.
Because we set it up that way.
Whether you and your husband set an official agreement like we did or not, it’s likely true that he’s caring for things you don’t even think of.
I’m not saying that you have to start bending over backward to appreciate him more – you could if you want to, that definitely wouldn’t hurt anything. But what I’m saying is that maybe you could give him a bit more of a pass if he doesn’t acknowledge everything you do.
Maybe it’s a more efficient and loving use of everyone’s time if YOU appreciate you and let him not notice things sometimes.
Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love what you are doing. Could just mean he’s busy doing something you’re not noticing either.