I am willing to feel good. To feel loved.
Read those statements again, Bee.
You’re probably thinking: “Yeah. Duh. Obviously, I’m willing to feel good and to feel loved.”
What you might not realize is that feeling love is a skill. You have to consciously open yourself up to the love available in your marriage.
Because your husband can constantly offer, all day, every day – and if you don’t take it into your hearts by BELIEVING that you are worthy of love… all that love just falls right off to be trampled under your scared and wounded feet.
For lots of reasons, you might have decided to believe that you don’t deserve love or that if you take it, it’ll just go away so it’s safer to stay closed off.
While all of the above strategies are meant to protect you from the pain of lost love, they also prevent you from enjoying love in the first place. Doubting love creates the very distance you feel desperate to avoid.
So fascinating. And unnecessary.
Let’s go now to this image my coach shared with me, an image that changed everything I believed about what I “deserve”:
Close your eyes and picture yourself swimming in an ocean that holds everything you ever wanted in your marriage.
All you have to do is swim up to it.
There’s no need to look right or left to see who’s a competitor or who might try to take the love you want away. There’s also no need to look for allies because you already have all the love you want right within swimming reach.
All it takes is a willingness to allow yourself to swim over, extend your arm and hold the love. All of that is easy because the love is yours and waits right there, only for you.
How might your marriage be different if you believed that were true?