Have you started your holiday shopping?
As a holiday purist, I prefer to wait until AFTER Thanksgiving.
But I digress, this message is not about the smushed up timing of Halloksgivingmas.
I totally get it if you’re a shop ahead of time gal.
And I support you in that.
I’m just here to highlight how the holidays are a time when all of us are invited by the Hallmark channel and various jewelry catalogs to question our husband’s devotion.
We use these festivities as a measurement of how loved we actually are and whether we are doing this whole marriage thing “right”.
Funny thing is… we often don’t TELL him what we are wishing for… because… well, if he REALLY loved you – wouldn’t he just know?
Problem with that is… while we are waiting around to see if he’s gonna remember our stocking stuffers this year, we are MISSING IT.
Missing the chance to love the way he’s reading the Thanksgiving story to your family at dinner.
Missing the chance to make a kid-free Costco run into a sacred moment when you get to know him a little better.
Missing the chance to make homemade pie crust – just like Grandma used to do – with the family you love.
Missing the chance to ask for a foot rub if that’s what you really really want.
What if you partnered with your partner this year to enjoy a pressure-free holiday season – with or without all the trimmings?
I know it might seem safer to keep silently wishing and hoping and praying… but it isn’t. Not really.
Cuz’ planning and doing and talking and creating is what really gets you the relationship that you actually want.
And all of that is easier when you do it out loud. With him.
We think we are safe if we don’t speak up.
If we don’t let him see the true desires of our hearts.
That way we “can’t be disappointed”. We “won’t feel hurt”.
Except… when you go that route… you don’t LET HIM see you.
You don’t advocate for you getting what he might actually love to give.
It’s so much easier to love someone you can see.
And so much easier for him to give what he knows you really want.
So, do yourself a favor.
Stand up. Be seen. Help him, help you.
Wishing you both the most amazing holiday season.