Check it out.
That’s a live action shot of me helping a client transform her emotional experience from “poop” to “love”.
You’ve been there.
Poop happens when you “know” – for sure – that husband is trying to push your buttons.
That he always does this.
That his wants and needs are more important than yours.
Yep. Smells like poop to me.
And If all that were true, it would be a pretty crappy situation.
No arguments here.
Here’s what’s also true: When you’re committed to a story that hurts, you have to feel hurt.
Pretty poopy, right?
There is good news: Love is the way out. And before you stop reading, please note that I mean love for YOU.
Poop time is not the time to take care of him or broaden your understanding of his situation or extend generosity his way.
(You can – but only if doing so feels like love FOR YOU.)
If it doesn’t, you have the option to pause.
Put a pin in the poop and talk to yourself.
Sounds like this: “Hey there, love… are you feeling hurt? Afraid? Do you want some recognition or support for that? Tell me all about it. I’m here for you.”
I know it might sound hokey, but stay with me.
It can be a beautiful gift of love from you to you to talk to yourself the way you wish other people would talk to you.
Your nervous system calms when attention is paid to you in this way. Promise.
That attention can come from him. Or from you.
The impact is very similar if you let it be.
When you’ve listened to you from a place of love, the poopy parts don’t seem so stinky.
I’m not saying they’ll be your favorite.
They won’t be. For sure.
But you’ll be ready to make a strong decision about how to proceed.
Lead with love. For YOU.
Everything else will follow along beautifully.