Ever felt like her?
Like you’re constantly bending over backward to accommodate someone (ahem, husband) who seems grouchier and more stubborn than you?
And what comes next?
Resentment – the marriage killer.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Not when we know that resentment is just your brain’s signal to YOU that your needs aren’t being met.
I know resentment might seem like your brain’s signal that your husband is demanding or unfair or unreasonable in some way.
Maybe he’s passing out decrees about where you’ll go on vacation.
Or he’s still failing to notice your dazzlingly on point grocery budget.
I get it.
I also know that resentment is totally optional – even if your husband never changes a thing.
Stick with me and I’ll teach you how.
Step one: awareness. Start by consciously noticing when resentment pops up. Then, pause. Just pause. Step back, go into your own brain and see if you can figure out which of your needs isn’t being cared for in that exact moment.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For example: When my husband makes what seem like unilateral decisions, my fear of being dismissed flares up. Every time he decides without discussion, my brain warns me that my need for collaboration might never be satisfied and the fearful, resentful spinning begins.
For now, I want you to stay right there – in curiosity about what your brain believes you aren’t getting.
No judgment for you OR for him.
No speeding to fix any of it.
Just curiosity, awareness and patience.
Give it a try.
Just for this week.
I know that living in resentment can seem heavy.
Like there’s no possible way around it and no chance for thriving under it.
It is like that for some people, but not not for us.
We’re BEES and we don’t care what humans think is impossible.