Got a confession to make, Bees.
I did pretty well in my biz in 2020: Earned Master Coach distinction. Signed a contract with my mentor. Served 100s of clients. Made over $100k.
And through it all, my primary thought about my husband was: “He doesn’t support me.”
Brains are so sneaky! And mine just believed that thought was true.
I used my early morning work hours and late night catch up as evidence that he wasn’t supportive.
If my daughter snuck into my office when I was on a call, I chalked it up as my work not mattering much to him.
When he didn’t celebrate me the way I thought he should, my brain said… “Yep. Sounds about right coming from someone who really doesn’t care.”
I bought that painful story all year long.
In a year where I enjoyed MASSIVE growth, I also continuously believed my brain about something that was hurting me.
I didn’t even see it. Isn’t that fascinating?
I finally saw it when I had the house ALL TO MYSELF one Saturday.
There I was, blasting the music I wanted to hear, spending all of my focus on you Bees and the stable homes we are actively creating.
Right then, with no kiddos pulling on my legs, with all the focus time in the world, I saw how I’d been wrong.
And I considered that maybe I’d been wrong ALL YEAR.
So I looked – on purpose – for evidence of how he HAD been supportive.
I didn’t have to try very hard.
It was all there.
Don’t get me wrong – the less supportive stuff was there too. But I see now that “unsupportive” isn’t the whole story. And I know I can choose where to place my focus.
This matters because My choice determines MY emotional experience.
It’s the best gift ever to be in charge of creating what I’m going to feel – no matter what he does.
It’s fun to know that I can be generous when he’s having an off day.
It’s comforting to know that I can be generous with me when I want to wallow.
It’s all okay.
It’s nice to feel supported by him. And it’s even better to know that I’ll always support me.
No matter what.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash