The Story of Talking to Yourself | Candice Toone Coaching

The Story of Talking to Yourself

Husbands do lots of dumb things.

I think we can all agree there.

You may not agree quite as readily, but wives do dumb things too. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I can say so, because I’m a wife myself. And I’ve definitely observed myself doing dumb things sometimes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Like when I spend all of my energy trying to get my husband to be anything other than himself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Or when I spend tons of time and energy trying to convince him that my way is the better way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*ahem… only savages put bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher where the cups have clearly lived for centuries* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Even so, here’s the thing: when you are so focused on trying to change husband’s behavior, you miss out on the opportunity to process through your own emotions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And when emotions are high – intelligence is low. It’s a lot harder to act from the ideal version of yourself when your emotions are running wild. It’s tougher to listen and collaborate when you are feeling threatened or upset.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Good news is: you always have the option to process through your sadness, your disappointment, your frustration, your fear. To feel what that emotional experiences is like in your body. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Start by checking out if there is a color, temperature, texture, or speed present when you feel that particular emotion. Breathe into it. Let it be. Then watch as it washes through you. It will if you let it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Once you’ve seen and soothed yourself in that way, you’ll be in a much more proactive and powerful position to discuss whatever it is with your husband. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You’ve taken the time to see and hear yourself, so it’s then more okay if it takes him a little longer see and hear you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You’ve cared for you already. You can now be patient with him and his brain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Talk to yourself before you talk to him. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Always a good idea.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Ready to have all the stability
with none of the settling?

Ready to have all the stability with none of the settling?

Click below for a free video on how to build the stable home you think can’t happen. You’re worth it and you’re welcome.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email

I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?

Complete 50%

Enter your name and email to get instant access to the video