The Story of Talking to Yourself | Candice Toone Coaching

The Story of Talking to Yourself

Husbands do lots of dumb things.

I think we can all agree there.

You may not agree quite as readily, but wives do dumb things too. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I can say so, because I’m a wife myself. And I’ve definitely observed myself doing dumb things sometimes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Like when I spend all of my energy trying to get my husband to be anything other than himself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Or when I spend tons of time and energy trying to convince him that my way is the better way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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*ahem… only savages put bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher where the cups have clearly lived for centuries* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Even so, here’s the thing: when you are so focused on trying to change husband’s behavior, you miss out on the opportunity to process through your own emotions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And when emotions are high – intelligence is low. It’s a lot harder to act from the ideal version of yourself when your emotions are running wild. It’s tougher to listen and collaborate when you are feeling threatened or upset.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Good news is: you always have the option to process through your sadness, your disappointment, your frustration, your fear. To feel what that emotional experiences is like in your body. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Start by checking out if there is a color, temperature, texture, or speed present when you feel that particular emotion. Breathe into it. Let it be. Then watch as it washes through you. It will if you let it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Once you’ve seen and soothed yourself in that way, you’ll be in a much more proactive and powerful position to discuss whatever it is with your husband. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You’ve taken the time to see and hear yourself, so it’s then more okay if it takes him a little longer see and hear you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You’ve cared for you already. You can now be patient with him and his brain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Talk to yourself before you talk to him. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Always a good idea.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?

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