Gals. Lean in close. This week’s resentment busting tip is SUPER easy to implement. All you’ve gotta do is nothing. No joke.
My husband is an expert couch sitter. Champion status really. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a hard worker during regular business hours – but on the evenings and weekends he knows how to get that lounging DONE. Like a boss.
I know I’m describing his talent like it’s something to envy, but the truth is… I don’t love it. There are dishes to wash and laundry to fold and babies to entertain and groceries to get and… and… and… and guess who’s usually doing all of that? Me. *sighs and adjusts messy mom bun*
For a long time, I believed that he didn’t see the chores or if he did, he just didn’t care to do them. I was partly right. He DIDN’T care to do them. But not for the reasons I thought.
Now I know that he’s not laying on the couch because he doesn’t love me enough to help or he doesn’t respect our home. He’s laying there because he’s a ROCK STAR with self-care.
And I’m not.
So I was annoyed… and with time… resentful.
Why should he get to rest while I don’t? Simple answer is: he shouldn’t. We should BOTH rest whenever we need to.
I’m guessing your mind was blown because you thought the answer was that BOTH of you should be working til the work was done. But the work is never done, is it? I’ve been trying for 37 years and it still hasn’t happened. How long have you been at it?
I tried it a couple weeks ago. Just sat on the couch and hung out for an entire Sunday afternoon. No one died. Black mold did not grow. Extra cuddles and laughs were shared. And I realized that the best gift I can give my family is a relaxed, replenished me. Not a dishless sink or a drawer full of perfectly folded socks. Me. Happy. Fulfilled. Renewed. Resentment-free.
You’re totally worth it.