Once upon a time, I had a dress. Wadded up in a shopping bag. I pulled it out for church, realized it was too wrinkly to wear and casually tossed out this comment to my husband: “Hey, while I’m changing the baby, it’d be great if you’d iron that dress.” As I walked away, I think I even laughed to myself over the absurd mental image of my husband with our iron in hand.
Never in one million years did I think he’d actually do it.
Then I came back to the kitchen, where I was faced with my pretty, ready-to-go dress. On a hanger.
My brain wasn’t sure what to do with this input at first. Brains like to be right. Sometimes more than they like to be happy. Right feels safe. Secure. But is it?
So many of my clients tell me that they can’t say something to their husband because they KNOW how he will respond. I always remind them that they DON’T know. Sometimes they get mad, but other times they consider the possibility of how their relationship might change if they were willing to be wrong about the negative things they believe are true about their husband.
What if you believed he would get up with the baby?
What if he wouldn’t say no to you investing in coaching?
What if you said and did what felt best to you and then let him behave however he’s going to? Without assuming you know?
It’s super fun to stay curious about your husband. To let him be who he is day to day, without labeling him with all his decisions from the past. Sometimes he will show up how you thought he would. But other times, your dress is ready to go.
Be willing to let your husband surprise you. Few things are more fun than learning your husband is more amazing than you gave him credit for.
Photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash