The Story of The Poker Game

Sometimes we approach marriage like my kids approach poker afternoon.

We believe there are a certain number of chips and when husband gets more, we have less.

But what if that’s not how it is?

What if there is plenty of everything that really matters? 

Plenty of love? time? money? attention? appreciation? all of it?

I know you might be rolling your eyes and doubting me right now.

Totally get it if you are.

But when you believe that him getting something means that you won’t… you have to feel like my son looks here. 

Does it seem like he’s having fun?

Not so much.

Good news is – life isn’t like poker. You can have everything you really want, so long as you believe you are worthy of getting it.

Most of the wives in my Defying Gravity group believe worthiness comes from giving and that receiving makes them less valuable somehow. 

Not. True.

Not even a little bit. 

But because of that belief, there’s a WHOLE LOT of resentment going on. 

Here’s how it goes: 

you give 

your husband takes

And DAMN HIM for doing so.

You know this doesn’t make sense. Which is why you’re sorta caught in a trap. 

You don’t want him to stop receiving. But you’re also tired of giving all the time.

When you notice the tiredness, you remind yourself of how love should be enough to keep you happy.

If you aren’t feeling it, there must be something wrong with you.

But notice how that strategy leaves YOU out of the love loop.

Love DOES conquer all, Bees.

But only if YOU are getting in on the love too. 

So, actively look for ways to receive get love instead of just giving it all the time. 

Take your share of the chips. 

Think of it as your husband’s chance to practice the giving part of being in a relationship. 

He probably wants to.

What would happen if you let him?

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?

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