Peloton scheduling.
Christmas lights.
Mayonnaise.
All things I’ve coached clients on recently.
All stories that began with the phrase, “It’s just a silly example, but…”
And here’s the thing:
I really, truly believe that there is NO such thing as a “silly” example. Things matter to us because they matter to us and that’s enough.
Time after time, I see how what my client calls a “silly” example is actually just a “safe” example.
It feels safer for our brains to discuss the Peloton, the Christmas lights or some mayonnaise than it does to straight on open up ideas like:
he’s ignoring me⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
what matters to me doesn’t matter to him ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
he’s not considering my needs
It’s totally amazing and appropriate to allow yourself to baby step in to the parts of your marriage that seem scary.
To look at something painful through a non-threatening example.
It’s genius, really.
So, listen when your body lets you know that something doesn’t feel right. Even if it seems small.
You owe it to yourself to check those clues out.
Sometimes they’ll turn out to be nothing – not that big of a deal at all. Other times, you’ll be introduced to a relationship choking belief that you didn’t even know was there.
So trust your intuition. Explore the “silly” examples. Give them some air time without requiring yourself to react right away. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Notice. Observe.
That’s the best way to stay true to yourself and show up fully in your important relationships. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It all matters.
And the sooner you look at it, the less likely it is to become a dramatic emergency.
You’re welcome.
