The Story of the Special Snowflake

I spent the first five years of my marriage convinced that our relationship was a special kind of awful. 

Looking back, I realize my belief carried a fair amount of pain but also a strange sort of pride. 

Like enduring the terrible made me special. Strong. Long-suffering. Magnanimous, even. 

That was all garbage. 

Kept me stuck in a relationship filled with distance I’d created. 

He was a mess. 

I was benevolently willing to be patient and tolerant and forgiving – even if that meant I wasn’t happy. 

You’d think that realization would allow me to let it all go. 

But nope. 

It was still super hard for my brain to drop those made-up roles that kept the distance between us.

My brain believed, on some level, that I was more noble and worthy if I stuck what I’d committed to: a husband AND a painful story I’d created about us. 

If I let that go, who were we? 

If I didn’t sigh wistfully about “my cross to bear”, how would people know of my golden heart and inner strength? 

How would I prove my worth? 

With those questions swirling around unanswered, it was far too dangerous to let go of my idea that I was the woman who figured out how to live with a man she was sometimes afraid of. 

I was strong. I was patient. I was loving. 

I was also wrong about the necessity of the above. 

Here’s the truth: I am special and noble and worthy and strong and loving and patient with or without that sad story. 

Since that realization, I’ve made it my mission to look for ways to identify myself as special and unique and lovable WITHOUT disparaging my marriage. 

I used to be the lady who stuck with a guy who didn’t appreciate or deserve her.

Now we’re the power couple who overcame a mess of mental garbage to thrive in ways old me never thought possible. 

That’s the kind of special I want to be.

What kind of special do YOU want to be? 

Photo by Darius Cotoi on Unsplash

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?