The Story of Two Voices

Buckle up, Bees. I’m about to tell you about my big mistake. 

One that I didn’t even register for most of my life.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been all about collecting inspirational messages and quotes from a wide range of sources. 

Only recently did I learn I’d been misinterpreting quotes like: 

At every moment, two voices speak in your brain.
One for comfort.
The other for your dreams.

I thought this meant “or”.
Comfort OR dreams. 

Not both.

You suck it up, you push on through, you make it happen… and you claim your dream.
Done and done.

Comfiness = laziness and laziness = not getting to where you always dreamed you’d go.

I. Was. Wrong.

What I didn’t realize was that – especially in marriage – a road paved with self-sacrifice and adjusting and forced compassion leads to a marriage that looks more like a nightmare and less like a dream.

And then it hit me – maybe it doesn’t have to be comfort OR dreams.
Of course it can be comfort AND dreams.

You’ve  just gotta choose the right kind of comfort to pad the path to your dream relationship.

Comfort from late nice ice cream?
From keeping quiet to keep the peace?
From watching another movie when you’d planned to do your coaching homework?

That might not be the kind of comfort that moves you forward.

But comfort from forgiving your flaws?

 From allowing a much needed nap? 

From actually choosing the restaurant for once?

That’s the stuff dreams are made of.

Isn’t it amazing to know that there’s really no need to choose between comfort and dreams?

Do the work. 

Do the rest.

Both. 

And. 

Not either/or. 

Both. 

And.

Comfort yourself with unconditional self-love.

Wrap you up in that blankie and have the brownie if you want to.

Could be that cuddle or that treat is exactly what you need. Maybe it’s okay to give yourself a leg up now and again when you do the sometimes hard work of loving him like he might actually be the man of your dreams. 

When you start by embracing some comfort and love FOR YOUR FIRST, loving him becomes so much easier.

You’re welcome.

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I’m Candice.

I believe that every wife ought to feel cherished and valued. Appreciated and adored. I know we can make that happen. Even if it seems impossible to you. I’m a Master Certified Life Coach and I spend my days coaching women who are afraid in their marriages. You and I can work together to find a way for you to trust in your own decisions instead of constantly reacting to his. Now’s your time, Bee. How much longer are you willing to wonder and wait?

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