Episode 59 – Decide – Implement – Evaluate – The Foundation of Defying Gravity Rising

‘s Up, Bees?!

Are you on my email list? 

Did you know I have one? 

I do and we have a lot of fun over there. 

Because I love telling stories, I love writing. 

PS – did you know I wrote a book? Wife on Purpose? You can hear me read excerpts of it right here on this podcast OR you can download a free e-copy at www.candicetoone.com/resources.  

Anyway – back to my email list. If you’re not on it, you’re missing out on funny stories + useful marriage tips in your inbox every week. 

My email list subscribers are also the first to know about special events, deals and promotions – so if you’ve ever thought – “Hey… I might like to work with Candice in real time someday…” do yourself the favor of hopping on my email list RIGHT NOW. 

All you gotta do is go to www.candicetoone.com and click the golden “free course” button. 

Not only will you get four quick video lessons with specific steps on “How to have the marriage you imagined when you said, “I do” – you’ll also get the tips and tricks every week AND + you’ll be IN. THE. KNOW. about everything going on around here at Candice Toone Coaching. 

For example, the last several emails I’ve sent my list reviewed KEY steps in the EXACT process we use in Defying Gravity Rising – my signature group coaching program – to create magic in our marriages and momentum in our lives. 

Should we review them here too? 

Yes. 

Let’s. 

First – make a list of 25 things you really, really want. 

Make sure they are THINGS not THEMES – meaning you could easily hand your list to a stranger who could then see a clear vision of the thing without any additional clarification from you. 

Second – choose ONE THING off your list and identify ONE DOABLE TASK that you think will get you closer to the ONE THING you chose.

Make sure you’re 80% on board with doing the task you think will be required – meaning you pick something you’re willing to do and you don’t get distracted by thoughts of “not enough” or “won’t make a difference”. 

Third – evaluate your efforts from the vibe of love, kindness and curiosity. 

Tell the whole truth about what actually happened and lovingly look for ways to support yourself even more on the next go round.  

Fourth – call attention to unconscious rules that get in your way and clearly identify what you need to shift rules that are no longer working. 

Just cuz your mama and granny always did it “that way” doesn’t mean you’ve gotta do it that way forevermore. It’s your life. You’re driving.  Make sure you like your map. 

Then rinse.

Repeat. 

To keep the fun going, let’s work through the process my clients REALLY do use, right now – together – with some real-life examples. 

First – make a list of 25 things you really, really want. 

If you haven’t made YOUR list of 25 things you really, really want yet, go ahead and do that now. 

I’ll wait. 

• pauses – 
• sings theme song from Jeopardy! – 

You done? 

Great. 

For the remaining steps, I’ll use an example off one of my real client’s genuine list. 

You use an example off YOUR list. 

Start by double checking that you’re going for a THING (not a THEME).

MY CLIENT’S VAGUE THEME: I want to cook more dinners at home. 

became

HER CLEAR THING: I will make dinner at home with a lean protein and a side of veggies to serve all five members of my family on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays for three consecutive months. 

Second – choose ONE THING off your list and identify ONE DOABLE TASK that you think will get you closer to the ONE THING you chose.

My client wanted to make:
Chicken Parm with broccoli on Monday
Hawaiian Turkey Burgers with Sweet Potato Fries on Tuesday
Breakfast Veggie Frittata on Thursday

Notice how easy it is to picture those specific dishes on her table on specific nights. 

Make sure your ONE THING is also that easy to picture so that you can SEE yourself really and truly following through with it in your everyday life.  

Third – evaluate your efforts from the vibe of love, kindness and curiosity. 

What worked? 

She made the menu plan and bought the groceries.

What didn’t work? 

She didn’t actually cook the meals. 

Picked up take out or served frozen dinners instead. 

Fourth – call attention to unconscious rules that get in your way and clearly identify what you need to shift rules that are no longer working. 

Every night of that first week, someone “needed” my client at the last minute. 

Between unexpected science homework, a broken-down car and PTA emergencies, my client didn’t hit her cooking goal. 

But instead of judging herself for being “distracted” or calling her family and friends “unsupportive” – she identified that she had a “rule” in her head saying, when someone “needs” me, I go. 

Knowing that rule, she could then decide if she wanted to keep it (or not) and then get ready to feel uncomfortable on purpose as she prioritized HER goals on Mon, Tues, Thurs the following week. She could also prep herself to consciously trust other people to be resourceful and plan around HER. 

Now… how’d you do with this exercise? 

Any insights pop up? 

Did you have any issues fleshing out the steps for YOUR thing? 

Were you able to take what you learned from this exercise and roll that learning into your plan for what you’ll try next time?  

If you didn’t do it – I get it. Maybe you’re driving or something. 

Don’t worry… there’s still time to do it. 

When you’re back home, restart this episode and we’ll go through it again. 

No sweat. 

And… if you’ve got questions – I’m just an email away. 

Shoot me an email AS SOON AS you’ve got a question, and I’ll take good care of you. 

And remember, if you want CONSISTENT support in examining your life like this… 

if you’re ready to make visible progress toward your deep desires… 

if you’re in to make 2025 the year your life looks more like you thought it would…

Mark your calendar for the Candice Toone Coaching birthday sale: Dec 6-8. 

Both tiers of Defying Gravity Rising – my group program – are 50% off for those three days + there are some pretty sweet savings on 1-1 support up for grabs. 

What are the tiers of Defying Gravity Rising? 

I’m so glad you asked. 

I’m happy to go through the details of what investments are available to help you create momentum in your life + a marriage you love to live in. 

But before I do… let’s recap – one more time – the foundation of everything we do in Defying Gravity Rising so that you can really solidify the steps in your mind and then… you can drop off the podcast if you don’t want to hear the specific details of my birthday sale (it’s happening TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY – yay!) 

One of my current clients affectionately calls the process we use in Defying Gravity Rising the DIE method. 

I didn’t love that name at first, but now I do. 

Because DIE refers to us eliminating all the “reasons” you’ve been using to believe that it’s impossible for you to have what you really, really want. 

The DIE method works for us because we are Bees around here and Bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. 

In Defying Gravity Rising, we work together to shrink the space between when you decide – implement – evaluate because the smaller that space is, the faster you’ll see the change you want to see.  

Most people spend a LOT of time between deciding, implementing and evaluating. 

Some people never decide at all. 

Others drag their feet on implementation. 

And… if they implement… most people don’t evaluate because they are used to evaluations being SUPER painful. 

Not around here. 

We operate from the foundational belief that you are a powerful force in your life and OF COURSE you can create things you really want to have. 

We believe – on purpose – that the universe is conspiring in your favor, and we consciously open your capacity to receive those gifts. 

We require that you evaluate yourself and your efforts from a place of love and curiosity. 

We help you become a trusted mentor and guide for yourself – like your very own Yoda or Disney movie grandmother. 

I 100% get that it can be tough to decide – implement – evaluate and then do it all over again. 

And again. 

And again. 

It’s hard to do because you take it personally when something goes awry and taking things personally is one of the deepest ways to experience pain.

It can also be hard to decide-implement-evaluate because you’re in the habit of doubting your power or questioning your wants. 

It’s hard to keep going because you tend to wonder what you do and don’t “deserve”.

In Defying Gravity Rising, we are here to reprogram ALL of that using two specific, repeatable tools. 

We’ve already discussed the first – a running list of 25 things you REALLY, REALLY want. 

Did you make yours yet? 

If not – I invite you again to make one now. 

Because if you don’t know what you want… it’s pretty tough to get it. 

I’ll discuss the second tool – the Rise Up Report – in next week’s podcast… so stay tuned. 

Decide

Implement

Evaluate

Then do it again. 

That’s it. That’s all you gotta do. 

And the quicker you roll through it, the quicker you’ll kill the blocks on your road and the quicker you’ll have exactly what you want. 

In Defying Gravity Rising, we make this – admittedly scary – process easier to stomach by: 

focusing on things rather than themes – meaning we figure out how to declutter your pantry instead of trying to “live an organized life”. 

Cuz a cleaned-out pantry is easier to get + a bunch of cleaned out things will get you the “organized life” you had your eye on anyway. 

We measure attempts over achievements – meaning we celebrate the action you take every single day. We champion your “failures” because failure is just another way to say, “figuring it out”. 

Every attempt that “doesn’t work out” gives us a new detail that we can roll together with the others to better equip you for the next attempt until you’ve gathered all the details to get you exactly where you wanted to go. 

We celebrate instead of criticize – meaning we talk through your approach with the assumption that you are a smart and capable woman with totally allowed desires PLUS we’ll make sure you’re well-equipped to move forward in a fully supported way. 

Cuz when you feel great about yourself and the path you’re walking, you’ll walk quicker and pick up more of what you want all along the way. Which is exactly what you deserve. 

You can start practicing ALL of that on your own right now. 

Listen to this podcast again and again if it helps.  

Then – for those that want the experience of doing this work in a fun, supportive community with lots of love and ideas to pass around – we’ll get started all together two weeks from now during the Candice Toone Coaching BIRTHDAY SALE (Dec 6-8). 

And heads up. 

I’m gonna move into the specifics of what’s available in Defying Gravity Rising now… so if you’re not interested in hearing more details about the opportunities available in the actual sale… now’s the time to switch the podcast off. 

Defying Gravity Rising is the group coaching program I host to help women – like you – stop wondering if they married the wrong guy and start enJOYing the marriage they imagined when they said, “I do.” 

Because I know that different women have different preferences for support – we offer two tiers of engagement. 

First – The Honey Pot. 

The Honey Pot is for anyone who loves independent, self-paced work. In The Honey Pot, you’ll have full, on-demand access to my entire library of resources:

• Defying Gravity: The Course – which is the foundation I believe every woman should have as she builds a successful, loving, connected marriage
• Bonus Training: Lucky in Love
• Bonus Training: Help You Help Yourself
• Book Club Recordings from our Group Study of Wife on Purpose

The Honey Pot also includes 

• UNLIMITED access to an anonymous Ask A Coach message board – where you can ask me any question at any time with full privacy. 
• a monthly LIVE coaching call where you can receive support, share a win or simply listen in on what other Bees are doing so you can apply their coaching to your situation – because bonus… we are all going through similar things and there is comfort and strength in numbers
• If you can’t come to the monthly call live – there IS a replay available on The Honey Pot website AND on a private podcast so you can listen on the go

The Honey Pot investment is regularly $500 for full participation through the lifetime of the program – and, as of this moment, I’m planning to continue the program for a long, long time. 

During the birthday sale, you can claim full Honey Pot access for $250 – a savings of 50%. 

Second Tier – Swarm Sisters 

Swarm Sisters is for you if you crave the power of an active community. In Swarm Sisters, we collaborate together on a weekly basis to cheer each other on, share wins, offer support through rough patches and create lifelong bonds of sisterhood. 

Should you opt in for Swarm Sisters, you’ll have full, on-demand access to everything in The Honey Pot – all the on-demand curriculum, the anonymous Ask A Coach board and all call replays on a private podcast, plus: 

• weekly LIVE coaching calls where you can receive support, share a win or simply listen in on what other Bees are doing so you can apply their coaching to your situation – because bonus… we are all going through similar things and there is comfort and strength in numbers
• weekly specialty calls with a unique focus – communication tips, body-based healing, a Q&A with his and her perspective
• an always available community through an app called Slack – you can chat with the other Bees, seek coaching from me and complete your weekly Rise Up Report to track, troubleshoot and celebrate your progress
• quarterly advanced relationship workshops – can be attended LIVE or virtually
• opportunity to earn Queen Bee status which includes perks like
  • private, on-demand messaging with me
  • quarterly fully private 1-1 coaching calls
  • discounted re-enrollment 

The Swarm Sisters investment is regularly $2000 annually. 

During the birthday sale, you can claim full Swarm Sisters access for $1000 – that’s a 50% savings on a full 12 months of comprehensive coaching support. 

Lastly, if you’re really looking for concierge support in your personal corner of the world… my high-touch 1-1 coaching experience may be the best option for you. 

Should we choose to partner together in a 1:1 experience, you’d have full access to everything in Swarm Sisters – all the on-demand curriculum, the anonymous Ask A Coach board all call replays on a private podcast, Slack community, quarterly workshops, Queen Bee opportunities plus: 

• weekly 30 min coaching calls – just you and me focused ON YOU
• unlimited on-demand messaging between our private calls – this is MY favorite thing to have as a client because it helps me keep my focus top of mind all week and prevents me from wasting time on things that don’t serve me PLUS it creates an incredible bond of trust between me and my coach which is CRUCIAL when I’m doing big things to expand my world 
• 3 VIP day experiences – where you and I will retreat from your everyday life to reflect on how things are going and consciously receive inspiration to make sure we’re progressing toward what’s most aligned for you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds as you move through your regular life and these VIP days are a breath of fresh air to invigorate your efforts toward claiming the things you really, really want. The VIP days can be done virtually or in-person in Utah. PS – it’s a gorgeous place to visit if you haven’t yet been. 

A private, 1:1 coaching experience is regularly $8k for a 12 month experience. 

During the birthday sale, you can claim a $2k savings and enroll in a deeply personal, 1:1 cocoon of support for only $6k – which, and I know it’s me saying so… but that really is a steal. 

I am currently supporting 17 1:1 clients, most of whom are up for renewal around the time of the birthday sale. 

I’m planning to take 15 total in 2025. 

I’m telling you that only to stress that if you ARE interested in a 1:1 immersive, supportive experience next year – don’t sleep on this sale. 

The spots WILL fill. If you want one – grab it. 

Wouldn’t that be a fun way to set your tone for 2025? 

I think so. 

So let’s celebrate my birthday together with a brand new level of support for YOU. 

Okay. 

That’s what’s in the birthday sale – coming your way in two short weeks – Dec 6-8. 

Since you’re still listening, I’m gonna assume you’ve got at least some desire to claim one of those opportunities. 

For our final exercise together today, I invite you to take a close look at your automatic response to your desire. 

Did you mark your calendar and allocate the funds for the option you like best? 

Did you note the sale date sort of wistfully because you were also cataloging all of the reasons why you really want to, but probably can’t have what you want?  

Did you think to yourself – well… that’d be nice but I can’t make it work right now because of (insert whatever it is) or I really shouldn’t invest in myself when we’ve got (insert whatever it is) coming up?

Any answer is okay. 

The content of the answer is WAY less important than your honest awareness of what your answer is. 

Because however you responded to your desire here is probably how you’re responding to your desire in other areas of your life  – it’s SO useful for you to know your habit in responding to your desires. 

Be sure you look at your habit without judgment. 

You came by your habit honestly. 

It was shaped by your experiences, by societal rules you were taught from all sorts of places and by other people’s reactions to desires you shared in the past. 

That all happens for EVERYONE. 

AND

The happiest people are the people who choose to consciously see how their habits were formed and then give themselves permission to redirect the habits that don’t actually work. 

Again, you came by your habit honestly AND it’s also yours to lose or keep. 

So… if you don’t like the way you habitually responded to your desire during this episode… I’m here to tell you it’s possible to change that. 

You could let today be the day that you decide to change your habitual response to the things you really, really want. 

It’s an option to lean in to the help being offered here if you want to. 

Birthday sale is in TWO WEEKS. 

December 6-8. 

Decide if you’re willing to let yourself make a change. 

Decide if you’re willing to let yourself have what you want. 

Until then, choose courage, Bee – and Keep. On.  Flying.